My cousin is getting married today, and the best part is that Miguel and I get to share an anniversary with him and his soon-to-be wife. Since we’ve been together for eleven years, I thought about posting advice on marriage. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized there’s no way to give advice for someone else’s marriage.
I once heard a guru (probably on Oprah!) say that 90% of your happiness will depend on whom you decide to marry. When my students brainstorm topic ideas for essays, I’ll often give them this tidbit of trivia and then tell them my next statement works for their essay and their possible decision to marry: choose wisely.
Miguel and my personalities are really complimentary, even if we sometimes seem like opposites. He’s a little high strung, and I’m generally calm. He’s more aggressive; I tend to be passive. He’s neat and organized; I can sometimes be messy and disorganized. In short, we balance each other. When my Gram first met Miguel, she told my mother she thought I’d found my soul mate. Miguel’s mom has said on more than one occasion that most people love their spouses, but Miguel truly loves me. Yet, marriage is still difficult.
Miguel and I often say to each other, “Imagine if we didn’t get along. If it’s this hard for us, how do people who aren’t as compatible or as committed make it work?” I’m glad I don’t have to worry about that. Luckily, I chose pretty well.
Did you choose wisely?